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tiistai 30. syyskuuta 2014

Show me

I'm always a bit too much or not enough at all. I'm feeling way too deep way too fast or feeling nothing at all. I've always had problems to find the middle in everything. To be stable, cool and definitely lovable. The people who treath me like shit are the people I try my hardest to win to like me. The people who are nice and who would never hurt me I take for granted.

I fall for mean girls. Girls who don't give a shit. The real loves of my life have been cold and distant. Keeping me on my toes. Leaving without blinking an eye and never even looking back. Leaving me to think I probably deserved it all. 

I'm not a bad person but I've done bad things. I have broke hearts because I needed to see something else falling apart for a change. I needed to be the one to walk away without ever looking back. I needed to remain untouched. 

I'm scared I will never be just happy. When I'm in love I'm scared and when I'm loved I'm bored. 

I wish someone could show me the middle. 

tiistai 23. syyskuuta 2014

Crashing bones

You walked out of the sea
Atlantis dripping down your skin as I watched
And I couldn't think of anything else
than your bones crashing mine

I kissed you with open eyes
You hold your hands on my bruised knees
As the sky turned black 
I wanted to drown in you

And I wanted to tell you 
Everything about the nights I lay awake 
with you on my mind 
All the words I've been swallowing down my throath in front of your eyes

I wanted to let you know 
About the shivers 
You send down my spine 

But I chose not to 

Because these words are mine 
And despite everything else fading away

I'd still have my words 

Pure, honest, mine

Can't promise tomorrow but I can give you Forever

It feels the same as your hand taking a hold of mine at Ha'penny's bridge at night. It feels like your words dropping between us when I'm swallowing my tears and you are doing your best to ignore that. It feels like 'I love you' said just to make the moment last, not necessarily with real meaning. It feels like four orgasms and the warm breeze of your breath on my neck. It feels like being surrounded by hundreds of people and seeing only your face. It feels like shaky hands when waiting for you to text back. It feels like dying. It feels like being born again.

It feels like forever. Forever full of your eyes, my eyes, bittersweet confessions, ice cream trucks. Forever full of airports, departure gates, last coffees.

Forever full of you, I am breathing in. Forever here and now.