So maybe I could get some sleep tonight

The biggest challenge is to behave

Through-out the day I use a massive amount of willpower to control my need to write down everything and send it to you on the chat I've learnt to hate 

And by everything I really mean everything

And by that I mean it won't be pretty 

Even though the ugly truth has never been a problem to you 

I feel like I have been running enough 

I have made this mistake before and I'm planning not to repeat it 

She took everything what was left of my self-respect and when I really start to think about it 

That might have been the reason for fucking this up 

For fucking everything up

Well I've got to hand it to myself

I have made some progress 

'Cause this time I know that you are not for me 

You are not bringing out the best of me

And you certainly are not making me feel special 

I know that and I have come in terms with that 

But you see

The real problem is that I 

Desperately

Need you to love me 

Even though we are not meant for that